I woke up at 5am starving, even though I ate a hearty bowl of tagliatelle ai fughi last night for dinner. The sun was almost out this morning, and it wasn’t raining, so I put on my (not quite dry) cycling tights and got ready to go. None of the clothes we had washed last night were dry (cos its cold and there’s no sun) so we had to do some improvising with the biking attire. I did have my new wool socks that Gabriel bought me yesterday which were fantastic! The things-not-drying issue is one I haven’t figured out how to deal with yet. Cos our shit stinks, sorry to say. We need to wash. The hotel hairdryer helped a bit until I short-circuited it. The climb today was to be up and back down, coming back to Cortina and our hotel, so we didn’t have to pack up everything into the panniers–just a few essentials for the day. And its a damn good thing cos if we had been carrying the full weight of our stuff–absolutely forget it. In the first hour of riding, the sun peaked out of the clouds once in a while, creating a beautiful light on those mountains razoring the sky. We passed a German Shepard with a mane of hair around his neck like a lion, sitting in front of a farmhouse, master of his domain. Animal totem for the day. We exchanged greetings with a group of riders from Belgium. I think they said they literally rode from Belgium. This was at the first peak, the Passo Tre Croci. I was already hungry even though we had only eaten breakfast an hour and 42 minutes ago (the clock on my bike). I could have totally eaten a pizza right then.

About 45 minutes later we got to Misurina. Last stop for refilling water, etc. before the big monster climb, our biking book told us. Misurina was this valley with a sparkling lake between the mountains, and meadows of dairy cows and horses. Hikers were emerging from trails with their packs and their Alpine walking sticks. The hills were alive. Julie Andrews was not twirling in the meadow but she should have been. There were a couple of hotels with restaurants around the lake, so we stopped to fuel up as instructed. I discovered something amazing today: hot chocolate. I forgot how good it is. With fresh cream direct from the udders of the cows we passed. Oh my God.

The bike book warned that there would be a short “extremely steep climb” followed by a 6 kilometer “extremely steep climb” to the peak, Rifugio Auronzo. An average 16% incline to be exact. My life is now measured in percentages and kilometers. Gabriel said as we started: “I feel very pessimistic about this.” My thoughts exactly, man. We were already both thinking that this was the official “biting off more than you can chew” moment. We’d never done anything this hard. The short climb was agony. I never know exactly where we are on the route because Gabriel is the Itinerary Man and my bike clock/computer only works intermittently anyway. So as I’m pumping my heart out going up this hill I’m thinking: this IS one of the “extremely steep” climbs, right? Geezus, what if it’s not? We made it up that one, but that’s when the serious business began. Cyclists were coming down (beaming, cos they were going down) and seeing us with our panniers (even though they were light today) and shouting “Bravo!” and “Allez!” They probably thought I was smiling back at them but actually it was just the grimace my face makes when I am at my total limit of exertion.

Yesterday when we were climbing, this animal ran across the road in front of me, (Gabriel had been a little way ahead for a while) and I yelled out to it (cos that’s what you do when you’re hours in, and haven’t spoken to anyone in a while) “A badger! HELLO BADGER!” But what I was picturing was one of the ones that make dams. No wait, I thought, that’s a beaver. But there are no rivers up here. How could that be a beaver? Oh yeah, that’s a marmot. I remember them from last year. They’re like large squirrels. But then if that’s a marmot what the hell is a badger? Oh my God I’m freaking out. Seriously, what the fuck is a badger? I don’t know what a badger is. That’s crazy, I gotta google that shit. And this would be typical of the deep thoughts I ponder as I’m biking. But today, no. Today was just look at the road. Don’t look at the mountains, you might get dizzy and fall. Just keep going. Why? Why keep going? I have no idea. Try a mantra. Damnit I can’t think of my mantra. Ok I gotta rest: pull over.

Those 6 kilometers were without a doubt the hardest I’ve ever done. Not the longest, but definitely the steepest. It got to a point where I told myself that I could do it like intervals. Go hard for 3 minutes then stop to rest. Which I did, except 3 minutes is generous. I must have been stopping every 45 seconds. Who knows? My bike computer finally totally conked out and actually fell off the bike, apropos of everything. I would pull over and hang my head over the handlebars and just pant. I watched other riders as they stopped and spit, and blew things out of their nose, and whipped it out to pee. But nobody cares. This is not normal society. This is survival. I thought about this heavyset guy I had seen on one of the mountains last year. There are so many curves on these mountains you can see people above you and below you. He was definitely not one of those sinewy pro-looking cyclists. I watched him stop every few minutes to sit and rest but he made it. I saw him make it. I told myself to just do that. Stop and go. Stop and go. Gabriel was not far ahead of me. I didn’t see him stop to rest much but he was swerving around a bit. Its actually really hard to re-mount the bike and clip in after you’ve stopped at such an incline. The thought of food made me want to puke but I choked down some peanut butter energy goo anyway.I figured it couldn’t hurt.

At some point, I could see the top. The Refugio with a restaurant or something, and some international flags flying. When I saw it I knew I could make it, and everything got maybe 1 percent easier. I passed cars parked by the side of the road. Their drivers had placed rocks behind the tires in case they rolled. Gabriel was at the top with the Go-pro. I got there and kind of doubled over. When I could look up, the panoramic view was incredible. Not much time to enjoy it though. Rain coming.

Careful on the way down. Many hairpin turns. Down and down and finally back to the restaurant where I had had the hot chocolate earlier. We sat and ate a prosciutto and cheese sandwich. Back down pass the sparkling lake and the dairy cows. Drizzle started after a while, so we put on the ponchos. But by then it was not too steep, and Gabriel deemed it safe passage home.

Today is Gabriel’s birthday. We had an amazing dinner with pasta and steak and tiramisu. That’s about it for the excitement tonight. I think it’s fair to say our respective crotches have retreated into hibernation. See you in a couple months, Babe.

Happy Birthday, Gabriel. We didn’t think we could do it but we did it!